Funny Thoughts To Ponder

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?
When a pregnant woman has twins, are there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?
Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?
Why do they put holes in crackers?
Why do they call it "raw sewage"? Is there any other kind?
What do people in China call their good plates?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?
Why is tuna sometimes called "tuna fish"? Chicken is never called "chicken bird".
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
If an escalotor breaks down, does it become stairs?
Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?
Do Roman paramedics refer to 'IV's as '4's?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why does a priceless object cost more than a pricey one?
If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
With so many rivers running into the ocean, why doesn't the water level rise?
If a vacuum cleaner really sucks, is that good or bad?
What are the handles for corn on the cob called?
When Popeye blows through his pipe, why doesn't his face get sprayed with burning ash?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Do your eyes change color when you die?
Was Mary and Joseph's surname Christ before Jesus was born?
Why is it good to be "under par" in golf, but bad to be "under par" in anything else?
Can an ambidextrous person make an offhand remark?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
What type of animal is Snuffleupagus?
If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
Does a 'Marks-A-Lot' marker, mark any more than a regular marker?
If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?
On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
Why is it "a penny for your thoughts", but you "put your two cents in"?
Why do they say "easy as pie"? Making a pie is not that easy.
Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Mickey Mouse, who is bigger than us?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?
Can bald men get lice?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your body hair?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Do married people really live longer than single people, or does it just seem longer?
Does the postman deliver his own mail?
Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?
Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
If quitters never win, why do they tell us to quit while we're ahead?
Why aren't lawyers sworn in during trials?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?
Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
If something "goes without saying", why do people still say it?
How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall, but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
Why does a dog get mad at you when you blow in his face, but stick his head out the window when you take him for a car ride?
If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?
Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?
If you lick the air, does it get wet?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Who coined the phrase, "coined the phrase"?
Why are you "in" a movie, but "on" TV?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Why does grass only smell when you cut it?
If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?
When French people swear, do they say "pardon my English?"
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anything to do with steam.
What is another word for "thesaurus"?

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